"Hi, long queue here this morning. Did you have a good Christmas?"
"What do you want?"
"To return this. It's stained, chipped and leaks."
"Do you have the receipt?"
"No, of course not. I expected it to be ok when I bought it. It came in a box. I screwed up the receipt and dropped it in the gutter."
"I can't do anything without a receipt. It's part of our returns policy. Look it says so in great big red letters on the wall behind me."
"But I'm not relying on your returns policy. I'm relying on the Consumer Rights Act. "
"I still can't do anything without a receipt. You could have bought this anywhere."
"Do you accept I am man of truth and honesty?"
"errrrrr, I suppose so. Yes."
"Then as a man of truth and honesty I am telling you that I bought this product on the 14 December 2016, from this shop, in cash for £29 and it's rubbish."
"Shop policy is no receipt, no redress."
" And my policy is to sue when the shop is in the wrong and it doesn't know what it's talking about. There's no law which compels me to produce a receipt when I have a valid claim. My word can be accepted. If you continue to be ridiculous, I will make an on-line claim against your company for the £29, my expenses in coming here today and getting back home, the expense of sourcing a replacement product and any extra I have to pay for it, interest on all this money at 8% and the court fee. Such a waste of time. Such a pity."
"Wait there. I'll get the manager."
To members of queue behind now numbering 137 people.
"I do apologise that you are having to wait. Was your Christmas pleasant?"