THE CAKE MADE IT

Here it is in all its chocolate glory, as promised last Thursday. Waitrose executed its new instructions to the sugary letter and staff executed the cake's rapid consumption, or so I am told. I have not yet established whether former judicial colleagues got their teeth into a slice between claims for damages and financial remedy applications. I could let you know when my enquiries are complete but I fancy it would be better for me to (cake) bin this story now.

MORE CAKE

Tomorrow is a big day in the matter of the cake. That's the cake I told you about on 29 July for my retirement lunch at court which I was not attending in case anyone made a speech. It was supplied by Waitrose and iced by them with a Good Bye instead of a Goodbye as instructed. As I reported last time, Waitrose agreed to refund the price.

But after my last report, I got thinking. My guests should have had  a replacement cake for the one they scoffed with a new inscription. So what I settled on was a gift card which I could use to order a fresh cake with any inscription so long as it did not contain expletives. That's what they said, really! I duly attended at a Waitrose branch, typed in the inscription on their computer and paid with the card. Twenty five quid! 

The new inscription should be Hello sorry re the Good Bye (I was limited to 25 characters and spaces). And that's where tomorrow comes in. The cake will kindly be collected by someone from the court from the nearest Waitrose branch and inspected and consumed at lunch. Of course, I shall be physically absent as usual but there in spirit.

I hope to be in a position to report to you next week on whether the inscription was in accordance with latest instructions. If you can wait!

THE (NOT SO) GOOD BUY

May I return to the retirement cake (see my Retirement posting)? I duly took the matter up with Waitrose who supplied it. They have promptly dealt with my complaint. My email exchange with them is here for you to feast on. We had a midway exchange involving a request for some identifying information which I gave them but I have sliced this out. I regard my complaint as reasonably dealt with and will not pursuing heavy damages for injury to my reputation! 

From: STEPHEN GOLD Sent: 24/07/2016 

To: customersupport@waitrose.co.uk

Subject: Cake

The picture you see is of a cake supplied to me by Waitrose. Do you observe anything odd about it? I thought you would. The inscribed word Goodbye which was intended be me to be its main feature has been split. The cake was for a farewell lunch for colleagues and staff at my place of work after 21 years’ service and although intense shyness prevented me from personal attendance at the lunch, I wanted to be remembered as someone who knew how to spell. A contrary impression would have been given.

The cake was one of a  number of items which were collected on my behalf from your Kingston-upon-Thames store on 11 July 2016 and for which in total I had prepaid circa £130.  When I personally placed the order approximately a fortnight earlier, the lady at the customer desk who dealt with me struggled with the word in question. I spelt it out for her and did so without stoppage or any form of hesitation, deviation or repetition between the Good and the bye. Therefore, there can be no reasonable excuse for what has happened.

I am told that the cake was delicious although I am perceived to be stupid, thanks to Waitrose. I would invite your comments. If there are any spelling errors in this message then I apologise but at least they have not been iced onto the email.

Cheer io

Stephen Gold

Waitrose Customer Service Sent: 28/07/2016

Waitrose Customer Feedback (Case No. 02272059)

Thanks for your return email Stephen. 

I'm sorry you've had a poor experience with your recent Waitrose entertaining order - I've discussed this with the branch and arranged for them to refund the amount paid for the cake onto your payment card. You'll receive an email confirmation when this has happened.

I hope my response has been helpful today and if you’d like to provide feedback we have a link to a short survey. It’ll only take a few minutes and as a thank you for your time you’ll be entered into our prize draw where you could win £500 in gift cards. 

www.waitrose-cs.com/?certcode=011 

Kind regards 

Waitrose Customer Service

THE GREAT ESCAPE REVISITED

A friendly judge points out to me that I was lucky the cake was not iced with 'Good Buy' or the guests at my wake might have thought I had been scrimping!

The Great Escape

The main reason I kept judging for 21 years was my invincible fear of having to listen to valedictories and replying to them on my exit.

Eventually, I devised a cunning plan.

On 11 July 2016 I sneaked out of the back door of my court building for the last time with my colleagues deceived into the belief that I had another three days to go hearing a complicated family case.

In fact, I had secretly arranged to take those three days as holiday. A week later colleagues and staff had a buffet lunch on me. I was elsewhere. One of the cakes was iced 'GOOD BYE' . No prizes for guessing it should have been 'GOODBYE' . Waitrose got it wrong! Not a small claim, I hope.